At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
