Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
