"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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