that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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