please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
