Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
