Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
