Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
