her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
