I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
