now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I lost the right to judge tonight
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
