im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
