The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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