I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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