She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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