If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
