holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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