Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
