so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
