The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
