Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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