you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
