you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Randomize
