my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
