Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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