dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
