Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
