So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
