I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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