You're my little dorito
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
