Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
