i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
