Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
