hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
