My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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