Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
