Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry toomanycaptains hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.

Fav 18 1693 1139
share tweet
(361): View more from Texas

dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy

Fav 28 3074 1201
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(905): View more from Toronto

me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.

Fav 10 5485 1018
share tweet
(781): View more from Massachusetts

The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.

Fav 18 785 4679
share tweet
(828): View more from North Carolina

Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.

Fav 27 2900 5369
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.

Fav 6 3588 1503
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(760): View more from California

She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.

Fav 22 1015 3566
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

This is classic penis vs brain.

Fav 6 841 536
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?

Fav 0 9 45
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT