So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In other news, I just burned my penis
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
