Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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