I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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