I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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