Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
