Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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