we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
