Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
