I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
