I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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