I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
