some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
