Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
