I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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